Thursday, December 30, 2010

"What if?"

Fear.  
That must be why I read so many books to appease my curiosity, but rarely try the ideas contained within those books.  I have a mad desire to be creative, to be uniquely creative, but fear has caused a sort of creative paralysis...

What if I have nothing to say?
What if all the great ideas are taken?
What if, in all of the playing, I never accomplish anything?
What if I'm terrible at it?
What if I don't have the skills to flesh out the ideas I do have?
What if I don't have enough time?
What if I spread myself too thin?
What if the thing I'm doing isn't the thing I should be doing?
What if I don't ever learn to be consistent?
What if I never finish anything?
What if I never find my passion?
What if I get so involved in my creative process that I start failing at other things?
What if I can't pursue God
AND creativity?
What if?

What if my life stayed exactly the same as it is right now?  What if I wake up ten years from now with the same longing for creative expression and art in my life simply because I never tried? 

Or what if I just started playing and just let my creativity unfold?  What if I didn't care about the world's definition of art and just allowed myself to live on paper...speak my thoughts, however bland they may be?  Draw my silly stick figures and celebrate my stick-figure genius?  

What if?

Well, I may just have found a "what if" I'm willing to take. 

6 comments:

  1. I have been pondering your post for days now. It has conjured up many feelings for me. I would love to do a post on this in the coming days if you don't mind me linking to this. The one thing i can tell you without a doubt is that creativity is God's gift to you and you simply must use it. You must give that gift back to the world or you would be disobeying. Pursuing God IS pursing creativity because it is He that has told you to create. When i got this into my head years ago, it made it much easier to create and make mistakes along the way. Keep blogging Katie!

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  2. I'll second that ! ( Julie's comment )

    I highly recommend you just start playing and let your creativity unfold.
    I believe you will be amazed over time with what you accomplish !
    And who even knows what the world's definition of art is ?
    It changes constantly, look thru any art history book for proof of this.
    You have so much more to lose by not following your heart,
    and everything to gain if you do !

    Be Brave ! Give in to that mad desire !

    p.s. ALL artist's have days that every thing they touch is gold and
    other days they LEARN about the things that don't work !

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  3. Thanks for the encouragement! Playing is a difficult concept for me, for some reason...perfection has been a long-time companion. Perhaps "play" is my word for the year. :)

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  4. Found you through Julie Nutting's blog. May I repost your "what if" on my blog with a link to you? SO MANY DAYS I have felt exactly the same way. Beautifully said.
    Cathy Calamas
    www.a-moment-a-day.blogspot.com

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  5. Sure, Cathy! I'd love that! Starting this blog and writing that post has allowed me to make some new friends, and to realize that I'm not alone in those feelings of inadequacy. :) Share on, and be encouraged!

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