Thursday, December 30, 2010

"What if?"

That must be why I read so many books to appease my curiosity, but rarely try the ideas contained within those books.  I have a mad desire to be creative, to be uniquely creative, but fear has caused a sort of creative paralysis...

What if I have nothing to say?
What if all the great ideas are taken?
What if, in all of the playing, I never accomplish anything?
What if I'm terrible at it?
What if I don't have the skills to flesh out the ideas I do have?
What if I don't have enough time?
What if I spread myself too thin?
What if the thing I'm doing isn't the thing I should be doing?
What if I don't ever learn to be consistent?
What if I never finish anything?
What if I never find my passion?
What if I get so involved in my creative process that I start failing at other things?
What if I can't pursue God
AND creativity?
What if?

What if my life stayed exactly the same as it is right now?  What if I wake up ten years from now with the same longing for creative expression and art in my life simply because I never tried? 

Or what if I just started playing and just let my creativity unfold?  What if I didn't care about the world's definition of art and just allowed myself to live on paper...speak my thoughts, however bland they may be?  Draw my silly stick figures and celebrate my stick-figure genius?  

What if?

Well, I may just have found a "what if" I'm willing to take.